Respiratory Care Week

Respiratory Care Week is October 23-29!

"Respiratory therapists evaluate, treat, and care for patients with breathing or other cardiopulmonary disorders."
(http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos321.htm)
First of all, I am alive today because of respiratory therapists. Because I was born early, my lungs were not developed completely. What if there was not a therapist present? I would not have had a chance. I was fighting to breathe, and fighting to live. That respiratory therapist fought with me and gave me the chance to live.

In my first few years of life I was still sometimes struggling to breathe. When I would get sick, my asthma would act up. Quite a few times it turned into pneumonia and I had to be hospitalized. Respiratory therapists were there to take care of me and always did their job well.

The therapists were so caring and helpful. They took care of me, this baby girl that they didn't even know, and made me feel better.

My mom is a respiratory therapist today because of the wonderful experience she had in a not so wonderful time in our lives. Now she is helping people, young and old, to feel better just like they did for me so many years ago.

Thank you to all respiratory therapists out there for saving lives.

Same ol' Five Finger Death Punch.

Five Finger Death Punch released a new album called American Capitalist.

It is heavy, chunky, and screamy. Just like the other albums. As a matter of fact it is pretty much exactly the same as the others. Same voice patterns, same riffs, same double base, same growls, same subject matter (meaning he hates his ex... and everybody... and he will never be good enough for anybody and nobody cares).
This album is supposed to be based on evolving. "Either you change with the tides or get swept away in their wake. Either you can grow or you can stagnate." But honestly, it doesn't sound like they've changed at all. Still the same. Except for their very cheezy song "Remember Everything". Uck.

On a more positive note, if you have never heard any of 5FDP's songs, go take a listen. I will give you a few of my favorites.

Bad Company from the album War Is The Answer

And the whole The Way of the Fist album. That is the best one. I tried to pick favorites from the album, but I honestly love them all. And make sure you listen to Never Enough. It is a bonus track that can easily be overseen. But it is a good one =)

Let me know what you think about the new album. Or the band in general!

I have this sticker in my car window =) Love the spiky brass knuckles!

Evanescence "smacks you in the face"!

After five years of silence from Evanescence, they release a comeback album! The band has recently replaced some members that had left the band. Which, in my opinion, was a very good move because it gave the band a whole new sound. It still has the Evanescence feel, but it's not like anything they have recorded before. It is self titled, which was another good move in my opinion, because it is the beginning of a new band. Amy Lee, front woman and pianist, uses phrases like "it smacks you right in the face", and "its all over the place". Meaning that there is not a specific feel for the album. Every song is different. It is also the heaviest album she has done so far. I'm loving that about it!
I have always been a huge fan of the band, and have their other cd's and listen to them often. (I pretty much know every word to Fallen.) They are excellent, but I was ready for something slightly different. And that is exactly what they did, and what they needed to do. That way people don't get bored.
One of the best things about Amy Lee is her piano music. This new album is not piano heavy like her other albums, but it still has that beautiful piano in some of the songs. (Especially number six!) I'm glad they didn't cut that out completely, because that is one of the things that defines Evanescence. The new album is a perfect combination of heavy chunky riffs and flowing melodies. (I'm loving the drums in "The Other Side"!) And her voice, is amaaaazing, like usual.
She uses the word "fun" to describe the album. They had tons of fun making the album, and the album in itself is fun and something you can groove to. I am very happy with their new sound and glad they have recorded something they are proud of. Rock on guys!

Look for this album... and buy it!!!

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid!!!! (I am!)

Everybody is afraid of something.

Some are more afraid than others, and some let that fear control their lives.

That's when it becomes a phobia. A phobia is an extreme and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that can interfere with everyday life. About 18% of people suffer from a phobia.

These people that have phobias are aware that their fear is unreasonable and ridiculous, but they cannot control it.

I sympathize with these people. Why? Because I have a few phobias of my own.

First, for as long as I can remember, I have been claustrophobic. This means I am afraid of small spaces and of being constricted. I do not like small places like elevators and small bathrooms, especially if there are a lot of people to rub against me. I feel like I cannot breathe. But the worst thing for me is when my body is being constricted and I feel like I cannot move. I cannot have my hands, arms, legs, or feet held down, and I can't take it when I feel like I cannot move my fingers or toes. I have always taken off my shoes and socks whenever I can. When I was a baby, my parents were constantly trying to keep shoes and socks on my feet. I have recently realized that the reason was because my feet feel like they are being squeezed! Even tightly tucked bedsheets drive my feet crazy.

Another phobia of mine is: ichthyophobia. You have never heard of this I'm sure. That is the fear of fish. Ridiculous, I know! I cannot look at a fish, touching a fish is out of the question, even looking at a picture of a fish is torture. The funny part is, I used to go fishing with my dad. And you're not going to believe this: I used to scale and eat the fish! UCK! *shudders* I can't even stand writing that sentence. I have no idea why my view of fish has changed, but it definitely has. I even have horrible nightmares about them! The one I remember most distinctly: I was standing in a store, like walmart, with fish tanks all around. Everywhere. Stacked on top of each other to the ceiling. They were all filled with fish. There was nowhere I could go. I kept yelling, but nobody would come. Then they all came crashing down on me, breaking, leaving the fish on and around me. I have never been so afraid in my life. Other dreams I have about fish are usually about the same. I run and run and run and can never get away from the tanks. I run and scream and panic until I almost pass out. ...I hate fish.


Here's another strange one: cetaphobia. This is the fear of whales. (I have also heard it called phallainophobia, but that also includes other aquatic animals.) I know, I know. I'm crazy, right? It's not ike I've ever met a whale, or ever will! I live in Tennessee, not many whales out this way. Seeing a whale on tv is the worst thing I could see. Hearing the sound they make is even worse!! I am getting chills just thinking about it. I have to close my eyes and steady my breathing just to continue. I. Hate. Whales!


I have never been to the beach, but between my fear of fish and whales, I am perfectly fine with that. I would like to go, to experience the beauty of it, but I'm afraid... of being afraid!


I know I am not the only one with these fears, because, well, otherwise, they would not have a name. And I have read about others having the same problem.


I know you are afraid of something. Please share your fears with me, whether it is an extreme phobia or not. It might make you feel better, or at the very least, make me feel better! =)


(I usually put a picture at the bottom of my posts, but I refuse to put a picture of a nasty fish or a big scary whale!!!!!)

"And I Love You So..."

This is Don Mclean's beautiful song "And I Love You So".
If you haven't heard it, please go take a listen. It is a very heartfelt, emotional love song.
Love conquers all.

******************************

And I love you so.
The people ask me how,
How I’ve lived till now.
I tell them, "I don’t know."

I guess they understand
How lonely life has been.
But life began again
The day you took my hand.

And, yes, I know how lonely life can be.
The shadows follow me, and the night won’t set me free.
But I don’t let the evening get me down
Now that you’re around me.


And you love me, too.
Your thoughts are just for me;
You set my spirit free.
I’m happy that you do.

The book of life is brief
And once a page is read,
All but love is dead.
That is my belief.

And, yes, I know how loveless life can be.
The shadows follow me, and the night won’t set me free.
But I don’t let the evening bring me down
Now that you’re around me.

And I love you so.
The people ask me how,
How I’ve lived till now.
I tell them, "I don’t know."

******************************

Like all other lovey-dovey mushy songs, I dedicate this to my sweet fiance, Christopher. I don't know how I ever lived without him.
And I will never have to again.

[[Painting by Paul Tokarski]]

http://www.paultokarski.com/

Job Search

Finding a job is hard. We all know that. Well, I have been trying for a good while now with no luck.
I had an interview a week or so ago at an awesome book store. The interview went well. I had a good shot at getting it. I knew I would love that job.

I didn't get it =(

I have been really disappointed about it. It's such a rough competition trying to find employment. I guess others were more qualified than me for the position. But how do I gain experience when nobody will hire me because I have no experience? It feels like a big circle going around and around and I have no idea how to do anything different than what I am already doing.

Anyway, I don't really know why I'm writing about this except to express my feelings and ask if anybody else is going through this as well..I know other opportunities will come up and I will find a job eventually, but I'm still pretty down about the whole process. I desperately need a job to support myself. What else am I supposed to do??

If I Could Write A Letter To Me...

"Letter To Me" is a country song written and sang by Brad Paisley. It involves him writing a letter as an adult to his younger self. Here are the lyrics in case you've never heard it:

***************************************************
If I could write a letter to me and send it back in time to myself at 17
First I'd prove it's me by saying look under your bed
There's a Skoal can and a Playboy no one else would know you hid
And then I'd say I know it's tough when you break up after seven months
And yeah, I know you really liked her, and it just don't seem fair
All I can say is pain like that is fast, and it's rare.

And oh, you got so much going for you, going right
But I know at 17, it's hard to see past Friday night
She wasn't right for you
And still you feel like there's a knife sticking out of your back
And you're wondering if you'll survive but
You'll make it through this and you'll see
You're still around to write this letter to me.

At the stop sign at Tomlinson and Eighth
Always stop completely
Don't just tap your brakes
And when you get a date with Bridget
Make sure the tank is full
On second thought forget it
That one turns out kinda cool
Each and every time you have a fight
Just assume you're wrong and dad is right
And you should really thank Mrs. Brinkman
She spent so much extra time
It's like she sees the diamond underneath
And she's polishing you 'til you shine.

And oh, you got so much going for you, going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
Tonight's the bonfire rally but you're staying home instead
Because if you fail algebra, mom and dad will kill you dead but
Trust me you'll squeak by and get a C
And you're still around to write this letter to me.

You've got so much up ahead
You'll make new friends, you should see your kids and wife
And I'd end by saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life.

I guess I'll see you in the mirror
When you're a grown man
P.S. go hug Aunt Rita every chance you can.

If I could write a letter to me...
***************************************************




When I was 17, I was having a tough time with some things. If you know me, you know what they are. I'll just leave it at that. I thought my world was ending and my life was over. I couldn't possibly recover. Not from this. How can God do this to me? I thought He wanted me to be happy?? I am NOT happy! And I am NOT happy with God!!!!!! Forget church, forget prayer. Forget trying to live life faithfully. Forget really living. No, I was not suicidal, but I also didn't care what my life consisted of. Alcohol and drugs never really came into my life, but I would have welcomed them I'm sure. At that point, I really didn't care. I didn't care about anything. My life, my world, my body.
But my family I did care about. That was the only thing. I hid my misery as much as I could. I didn't want them to worry. I wanted them to know that I still loved them, if nothing else. But I felt like I would never be happy again. The only sliver of happiness I felt was when I was with them.

And my best friend Anastasia.
Anastasia understood. Not that my family didn't, but sometimes I needed someone other than family to talk to. When she was upset, she would cry on my shoulder. And when I was upset, I would cry on hers. Sometimes literally. We spent lots of time in the ROTC class and bathroom crying, talking, and trying to make sense of this crazy world. Where would I have gone if I didn't have her? There's no telling where I'd be. People didn't understand us, but we liked that. It was like we were in our own little world and nobody else was allowed in. They would get lost anyways.We could always make each other laugh. She'd say, "Hurry say something funny, before I start crying again." We had a bond that could not be broken. A special bond that I will forever cherish.


Now back to the song I was talking about. My sister made me listen to this song when I was smack in the middle of my no-good miserable life, thinking it couldn't get any better. She said, "This is your song." "I promise it will get better." And,"You have so much going for you, don't ruin it." I was kind of aggravated at the time thinking that she had no right to tell me these things because she couldn't possibly understand and I didn't want to talk about it. I never wanted to talk about it.
But then I realized she did understand. She really did get it. She knew because she had been there too. She was telling the truth. I was going to make it through this. I will still be here despite the agony I was feeling.
Since that first time I heard that song, I tried to take control of my life. I decided I would no longer suffer.
My sister saved me.

I needed to quit feeling sorry for myself . I DO have a lot going for myself. I have a fantastic family and a best friend I could really count on. And a life to be proud of. I wasn't there yet, but I would be one day, and I had to just keep telling myself that. That made me feel better. A little better every day.


After a little while, I found my happiness again. I found my Christopher. He popped up out of nowhere, ready to sweep me off my feet. We fell in love quickly. He was willing to deal with all my crazy problems at the time, and dealt with them well. He never left my side and loved me unconditionally. That is exactly what I needed. I needed to see that someone could love me for who I was, issues or not. I was not a worthless piece of trash and I could make somebody really happy. He did not try to change me. He embraced my lifestyle, my hobbies, my sense of adventure, my love of simple things, my craziness, and even my family. I knew I would love him forever. I knew we would be inseparable. I knew I would be spending the rest of my life with him. I cannot wait to marry my soul mate.

God has blessed me with a wonderful life. God has ALWAYS blessed me with a wonderful life. I was always blessed, whether I realized it or not. My life was not over, my world was not crashing down, I just had to wake up and crawl out of the black pit I had made for myself. I could not ask for more. I thank God every day for looking over me and giving me what I need. I have never been on my own. He has never left me. He has given me a beautiful body that I should respect, a family that I could not live without, and a man that not only loves me but loves Him as well. My life is perfect. My life is beautiful. My life is worth living. Really living.

♥[[so happy]]♥